False Hopes and Reality

Never think for a moment that making the right decision will make all your problems disappear.  It works for most things but certainly not when you’re dealing with Alzheimer’s dementia.  I hate this disease more every day.

We made the move to assisted living yesterday.  After only 12 hours, Dad’s bad behavior has escalated.  He is completely discombobulated.  Is that really a word?

To sit with him for even half an hour is exhausting.  He is hostile, confused to time and place, thinks he is in someone else’s house, and wants to go home but…can’t find his car.  There it is, the damn car again.  I am starting to feel like we’ve been fighting about the car my whole life and I’m 58 years old.

My mother’s heart is broken.  She loves her new home at the facility.  The people (staff and residents too) have been more than welcoming and are treating her like royalty.  And then, Dad pulls the rug out from under her with his constant repetitive questioning and yes, hostility.

The staff says we have to give this time and I know they are right.  I just don’t know how much more time my Mom has under this kind of stress.  We all understand that Dad is incapable of understanding what has taken place.  We are sympathetic but his paranoia and hostility make it so hard to keep trying to love him through this.  Don’t panic.  We do love him and always will but dang this is hard.  I think when we were planning this move, we allowed ourselves to be lulled into a false sense of hope and it is a far cry from the reality.  This just stinks!

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