I haven’t written in a while. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with what Alzheimer[‘s has done to my Dad. Actually, it has changed our whole family and that makes me really angry sometimes. Today though, I just miss my Dad. Next week he will turn 86 years old. He won’t even know he had a birthday. I bought him gifts though but I ask myself why I did that. He;ll open them and declare how wonderful they are and then 86 seconds later he will be lost in that fog again.
Not much has changed since I last wrote. Dad has a bit more trouble eating and they have changed his diet a bit to prevent choking. He’s become more resistant to being groomed and he is pretty content to lay on a sofa in the day room and be left alone. My visits get shorter each week because he just isn’t interested in conversation.
It seems like we’ve been stuck in this time warp for a long time. It’s funny but I can’t even remember how long it’s been since we got the diagnosis. I think maybe seven or eight years. However long it’s been, it’s been too long. With all the recent news about Death With Dignity, I am certainly wondering why more states haven’t passed the legislation.
I’m a bit down today so I’ll keep it short. This doesn’t happen as often as it once did. We learn to cope, don’t we? I think it’s the birthday that has brought me here so it won’t last. It’s just that today I miss my Dad and I wish he knew it.